3. "FUCK YOU"

I've gotten very intrigued with obscenities lately. Not just your so-so darns and hells, but the really bad shit - the things that got you busted for saying them in kindergarten when you didn't even know what they meant yet. I myself am a veritable fountain of obscenities at almost all times, and I can't seem to stop myself (though I do have an auto-trigger off switch which flips itself when I am on the radio or in the presence of relatives) - and nobody around me bats an eye anymore. I enjoy the punk rock tomboy air it gives me, yet sometimes I wish for the genuine distilled shock produced by one "damn" out of the mouth of someone who never curses.

But the point, darlings, the point - I've become a collector of international insults in the last few weeks, and not just any old insults, but the worst insults only - the equivalents of "fuck you" in all the multifarious and mellifluous languages of the world. I'm completely fascinated with the literal translations - how a phrase that's mild or nonsensical in English can be a mortal offense in some other tongue. My small-but-growing collection:

Afrikaans -
Gaan trek draad! - "Go pull wire!" (eg go masturbate)

Arabic/Hebrew -
Koos och tak! - "Your sister's pussy!"^*

Catalan -
Ves a parir mones! - "Go breed monkeys!"
Ves-te'n a prendre pel cul! - "Go take it up the ass!"

Dutch -
Krijg de aids/kanker! - "Go get AIDS/cancer!"

Estonian -
Mine vittu! - "Go into cunt!"

Finnish -
Suksi vittuun! - "Go ski into a cunt!"
Vedä käteen! - "Go pull into your hand!"

Icelandic -
Fardu i rassgat! - "Go in an asshole!"

Latin -
Perite! - "Go through" (to the netherworld)

Swedish -
Dra åt helvete! - "Go to hell!"
Dra åt skogen! - "Go to the forest!"

* Interestingly enough, there don't seem to be any native curses in modern Hebrew - Hebrew speakers curse in Arabic. (Arabic readers please excuse poor transliteration....)