4. GIBSON SG GUITARS

My assertion: the Gibson SG is the most beautiful electric guitar in the world.

Sure, the Fender -caster is the classic electric guitar shape, the kind of guitar that TV rock bands and comic strip characters play because it requires no further explanation, and I do harbor a not-so-secret penchant for the Explorer and the flying vee. But the SG's bat shape beats them all, if you ask me, from the graceful beveled curve of its bottom to the sweet little curly-brace top of its Gibson-emblazoned headstock (tilted back on its slender neck, mid-kiss style). The curls next to the base of the neck, like the shadows on the wall in your room, can be familiar and friendly and or sharp and menacing as the occasion demands. The whole package nestles into your lap so endearingly, you will never want to let it go. I have a 1972 SG Deluxe (factory Bigsby whammy bar, oh mama), a comfortably worn mahogany objet d'art. I don't come close to deserving it, but I would rather give up my little toes. The tone is sublime, the sustain formidable, the warm loud crunch provided by the dual humbucking pickups makes me grin uncontrollably. It is, no doubt, the most divine inanimate object in the world.

The Fender Strat/Tele and their various knockoff cousins are still, I believe, the bestselling guitars in the world, and the Gibson Les Paul is still the Guitarist's Guitar, but there is quite a sizeable SG fanclub too. Exhibits A-X (ha!), my own personal gui-tar heroes:

Adam McGrath, Cave In
Adrian Smith, Iron Maiden
Agata, Melt-Banana
Alex Newport, Fudgetunnel
Angus Young, AC/DC
Bernard Sumner, Joy Division
Carrie Brownstein, Sleater-Kinney
Dave Murray, Iron Maiden
David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap
Elizabeth Elmore, Sarge
Glen Buxton, Alice Cooper
Ian MacKaye, Fugazi
Jamie Frost, the Makers
Jenny Möllberg, Misdemeanor
Jim Allison, Fuel
Johnny Marr, post-Smiths
Mike Kirsch, Fuel
Paul, Lärm
Rachel Rosen, Indecision/Most Precious Blood/Wage of Sin
Sara, Doughnuts
Sara Fredriksson, Misdemeanor
Sarah Utter, the Bangs
Tim Sult, Clutch
Tony Iommi, Black Sabbath